Typed as dictated by Vladimir the Great and Terrible.
Once, there was a hero and an Evil Scientist. The Evil Scientist cut food and made a huge monster. And a little one. The monster, who was FrankenFruit, had a face made out of a pineapple. So, the hero, he cut the pineapple up so he could eat it. Because pineapple is delicious.
So, anyway, Frankenfruit, he was just made out of all kinds of food and not just fruit. He had bologna for eyes. He had a big old orange for a nose. He had a big giant mouth made out of mayonnaise and carrots. The teeth were carrots. His tummy was big. Huge, actually. He also had a hotdog and a banana. For his wieners. 'Cause he had TWO.
SO the hero, who was giant tall and had an awesome mohawk and General Grievous wonderwears, decided this. He decided to EAT ALL OF FRANKENFRUIT to save his mother. Because his mother would just die if he did not eat all of his fruit. Allegedly.
So he got a big knife. And a sword. And his gun. Because heros take them everywhere they go. So he CHOPPED FrankenFruit and he SLASHED FrankenFruit and then he BLASTED Frankenfruit with his big giant awesome gun. Because he is awesome.
And then he ate all of his fruit so that he could have another General Grievous toy at the PX. The End.
Tomorrow we will tell the tale of the Actually Pretty Nice Skeleton and The Lame Zombie. The End For Real This Time.
Oh there was a pear too. FrankenFruit had knees made out of pears.