Husband came home from the vet yesterday with some devastating news: little Pablo has worms. Monolithic Dog-Eating Roundworms, to be precise.
I have an amazingly strong stomach. As a nurse, it's a plus - I've smelled C diff, GI bleeds, been splattered with blood from a yanked IV, been vomited on, peed on, and have had amniotic fluid splashed on me. Not once have I been squeamish or nauseated.
Worms freak me out. Husband has been doing a great job of taking care of the doggie business the last 24 hours (one parasite, which was Zombie-white and looked nearly eight inches long, had wrapped itself around Pablo's poo and I swear to Baby Jesus it was still moving) and has promised to come immediately home from work should Pablo poop and evict more helminths. However, since the Epic Infestation of Pablo the Demon Dog of Dongducheon has been brought to my attention, I've realized something else.
1. Parasitic infestations happen often in humans.
2. They happen even more often in underdeveloped/Third World countries
3. I have plans to go work in one of the aforementioned underdeveloped/Third World countries (specifically Bolivia)
4. Some of my patients will have helminth infections; i.e. Monolithic Human-Eating Roundworms.
Hoping to de-sensitize myself to images of freaky host-consuming worms, I googled "endemic diseases in Bolivia" and came across the following:
Then I came across a slew of videos on YouTube called Monsters Inside Me. These videos have catchy names like "Deadliest Parasite on the Planet" and "Invincible Brain-Eating Monster" and "Death by Tsetse Fly".
So now not only are my dreams of bringing free healthcare and happiness to Bolivians being dashed to pieces, but I have Pine-Sol'ed and disinfected every inch of the living room, play room, and kitchen, my fingers look like shriveled figs (but they smell wonderful), and Husband is laughing at me because I had to send him a tearful text about Pablo's poop moving and can he please please please come home, because THIS THING is about to come out of my dog:
AND I'm out of Pine-Sol.