Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Dumb Blonde

I hate the stereotype.  I've probably heard every "dumb blonde" joke there is, and you know what?  I don't think they're funny.  Granted, there are blondes that fit the stereotype - but I know quite a few idiot brunettes and at least a couple challenged redheads as well.

Now let's jump to the reason behind this post: Chauvinist Male Soldier.  First, I'll say that my deficits regarding the whole North/South/East/West thing are well-known; Husband takes every opportunity to rub that one in.  And yes, I'll admit, I don't know exactly the layout of each state in the U.S. (or necessarily their relation to other states).  However,  making assumptions as to the intelligence of a female based upon the fact that 1. she got a bit turned around on a goddamn Army base, and 2. her hair color, is a stretch.

Now on to yesterday.

I got a bit distracted looking for our post office and ended up meandering onto a road I didn't recognize.  Rather than keep going and hope I recognized something soon, I decided to ask for the assistance of a soldier sitting with his buddies on the side of the road.  After pulling to the side and smiling politely, I asked Soldier which whay the Hovey post office was, to which he replied "Oh, you need to head East; take a left and keep going North.  You'll drive right past it."

Unfortunately I had no idea which way was East in relation to the direction I was pointed.  When I asked "So... do I... turn around and go East that way?" - pointing back the direction I'd come - Soldier couldn't keep a smirk off his face, and then glanced back at his buddies to make sure they were getting the conversation.  "Um, no ma'am, you'll head back that way and then take the road that goes to the right.  That way's East." A couple of the other guys snickered.

I smiled.  "Do you know anyone who's diabetic?" Soldier shrugged. "Yeah, a few people I guess." Me: "Any idea what you'd do if they went into diabetic ketoacidosis?" He blinked. "Uh..." Me: "Any clue what the signs and symptoms are?  Precipitating factors?  Protocols?" Soldier shuffled his feet "Um..." Me: "Well I'll tell you what, Magellan. I won't make fun of you for not knowing a few life-saving maneuvers in the event that someone you know might go into a fairly common and occasionally deadly complication of an otherwise manageable disease, and you won't make fun of me for not getting my fucking merit badge in Directions. And furthermore, while I can get a goddamn GPS and be on my merry goddamn way, you will still be USELESS in a fucking DIABETIC EMERGENCY." and I drove off.

In the wrong direction.


Stacey said...

"Blonde is not a hair color, it's a state of mind." - Stacey

SuziG said...

In the case of Stacey's quote, I'm in the blonde state of mind when it comes to knowing my directions. And the exact layout of the U.S. States as well.